did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
