how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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