thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
