I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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