Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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