I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
