Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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