Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize