Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
