All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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