quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
