I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
