I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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