She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
