are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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