FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
