Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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