I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You made out with two different species that night
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Randomize
