I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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