you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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