You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
