I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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