i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize