marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
