At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize