I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
