Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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