Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
