dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
