when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
