Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
