Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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