I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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