she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
