im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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