you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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