If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
