You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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