Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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