porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize