you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
