the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
