Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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