then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
