My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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