Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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