someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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