I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
