I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
