"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
