come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize