you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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