Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
