we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
