Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
