Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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