If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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