You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
