u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I had to cum in my sink.
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