i would punch a child for taco bell
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
