Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
