I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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