at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize