what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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